FA Cup 3rd Rd: Manchester United 1:0 Liverpool What a difference a minute makes. Anfield hero Kenny Dalglish , returning as Liverpool's manager after a decade's sabbatical, was an unexpected picture of sunny composure before kick-off against Manchester Un ited today, relaxed and joking about his upcoming assault on Mount Everest. Was this smiling Scot the same Dalglish whose tense and dour façade confronted the cameras the last time he was in charge at Anfield? The same manager would often slip into thick Glaswegian to deliberately confuse the pesky interviewers, until the unresolved pain of Hillsborough meant he could bottle his inner turmoil up no longer. His resignation in 1991 following a grueling 4-4 derby draw, came as a real shock. We know top managers are under permanent pressure, particularly when relegation fears place them under what they themselves call 'deathwatch', but they do not tend to walk out citing stress when their teams are riding high. King Kenny had unfinished business with the Reds, and mentally as well as physically had never left Liverpool, but it took 90 seconds, not minutes today in Manchester, to remind him that football folk are crazy. A controversial penalty, courtesy of a Dimitar Berbatov fall to earth, pushed Liverpool onto the back foot and plunged Dalglish back to 1991, the stress returning for the first time in years. Then Steven Gerrard was shown red for a flying lunge and a nightmare had descended upon Kenny's second coming. Every cut to the visitors' bench showed a man possessed by the past, the initial radiance drained from a suddenly aged and haunted face, the warmth of a long-desired homecoming replaced by the unforgiving chill of the wind of defeat. There was to be no first-game fillip for Dalglish's new Liverpool, who enjoyed some promising spells but failed to threaten the Red Devils meaningfully. Whatever may happen between now and the season's climax in May, rest assured Dalglish will go to bed a troubled man tonight, tossing and turning in his sleep after only one day in his dream job, recoiling at the taste of the poisoned chalice he leapt onto a plane in Dubai to drink from. Why did Dalglish do it, throw himself into a more frightening and challenging lion's den than ever, when he had no money worries and could have enjoyed a quiet life as a scout and occasional pundit? Liverpool is in his DNA is the only explanation, and his blood runs Anfield red. One man's madness is a football man's logic. Whether it was right to sack Roy Hodgson after only half a season and replace him w ith a Liverpool legend who has not coached for ten years remains the unanswered question hanging over Liverpool's new owners, the Fenway Sports Group (FSG). Hodgson had spoken presciently of his fate for some time, caught in the conundrum of being unable to turn down the offer of such a glamorous job, but equally painfully aware the odds were stacked against him coming out alive from it. Liverpool still need new blood and big money, which so far FSG have failed to supply. In selecting a former club hero, FSG look as clueless as any incoming owner desperate to assuage the fan base: Read Alan Sugar choosing Ossie Ardiles for Tottenham or Mike Ashley picking Kevin Keegan at Newcastle for a glimpse into the future of Dalglish and Liverpool. They made the right noises about long-term planning, but in the end chose a short-term fix which has made a losing start. They would have done better to have noticed the top two managers in the Premier League, Alex Ferguson and Arsene Wenger, have also been there the longest because their owners kept faith in them. In their much-praised book, 'Why England Lose' , Simon Kuper and Stefan Szyminski argue strongly that changing the manager makes little difference when the money a club pays its players remains the same. Ignore the lazy talk about coaches like Hodgson losing the fans and/or the dressing room - fan popularity hinges on victories on the field, while players do not automatically warm to a coach who brings them success. Results define an employee's value more than anything else. Maybe Kenny will go on to work wonders, but only if he is handed serious money for signings and above all time, the manager's greatest gift of all. (c) Sean O'Conor & Soccerphile Tags World Cup Pens World Cup Posters Euro 2012 football

Aquilani set for Anfield as Liverpool move quickly to replace Alonso Liverpool may have finally lost Xabi Alonso to Real Madrid after a summer long transfer battle but manager Rafael Benitez has wasted no time in finding a replacement. The man set to fill the void is talented Roma midfielder Alberto Aquilani, who is set for a medical later this week. The two clubs agreed a fee of around £20million for Aquilani just a few hours after Alonso completed his £30million move to Madrid. A statement on the Liverpool website confirmed that Aquilani has been lined up as a replacement for some time. It said: “Liverpool completed their discussions with Roma once the sale of Xabi Alonso to Real Madrid was finally agreed.”

Normal 0 false false false MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 st1\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) } /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} Normal 0 false false false MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 st1\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) } Normal 0 false false false MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 st1\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) } /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} Normal 0 false false false MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 st1\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) } /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} We are quickly approaching that wholesale time of the year again when everyone is out for a bargain following the Christmas rush, the same going for the top clubs around Europe . Whilst many people will be looking for a cheap television every manager across Western Europe will be on the hunt for that missing element in their side.

“ Switch and Spurs, switch and spurs; or I'll cry a match ”, Romeo & Juliet II, iv Tottenham’s travails go on after they fell 2-0 away at Udinese in the UEFA Cup. Winless so far, despite a summer spending spree which dwarfed all rivals, Spurs remain rock-bottom of the Premier League with only two points from eight games. He-he. Never have the triangle jokes (three points) lasted this long into the season. Spurs’ utter uselessness this season however is a mystery for rationalists: Their coach has a good record, they won the League Cup against Chelsea in February and grabbed some real talent over the close season in Luka Modric, Roman Pavlyuchenko, Giovanni Dos Santos and David Bentley. For mystics, psychics and assorted fruitcakes however, the explanation for the North Londoners’ malaise is simple: They have a hex on them. Tottenham would not be the first. The annals of sporting history are replete with supernatural intervention. Just think of the Curse of the Bambino in baseball and myriad others from the US' Big Four sports. In England, the home of the beautiful game, plenty of clubs have been alleged victims of gypsy curses. The most famously hexed team was Derby County, who ascribed their failure to win trophies to the fact they had expelled some Romany folk from the land where they built their old stadium, the Baseball Ground. After paying off some of the gypsies’ descendants in 1946, the Rams duly won the FA Cup for the first time. More recently, Birmingham City were widely supposed to have been victims of a hundred-year spell which expired in 2006. The Blues took it so seriously that former coach Barry Fry, an ebullient old-school manager not averse a curse or two himself, urinated in the four corners of the field after a psychic (or a charlatan having a laugh) told him it would exorcise the demons. Leeds also had a run-in with Romany folk when Elland Road was under construction. Their great coach Don Revie employed a gypsy to spiritually cleanse the place in 1971 but unfortunately, having led the First Division for most of that season, they then ended up losing it. Manchester City is another gullible sap, although on paper the most unsuccessful big club in England had to look to the stars for hope. Gypsies were rumored to have cursed the land on which stood Maine Road, City’s stadium from 1923 to 2003, a good reason for moving to the City of Manchester Stadium. While coach at Maine Road, Kevin Keegan once said, "I haven't been able to believe how bad our luck has been this season - especially at home. I don't know whether I've run over one black cat or 10 of them." If they thought they had rid themselves of evil, then what were City doing selling the club to a now-convicted Thai torturer in 2007? Middlesbrough also evicted some travelling folk in 1901 when they built Ayresome Park and as the caravans were shunted away, ancient curses filled the Boro air. Over in Wales, Swansea City took it all a bit too seriously when they employed Kenyan tribal dancers to perform a voodoo ceremony at their old Vetch Field ground, after the notorious Uri Geller had claimed there were evil spirits lurking there. Geller himself, famous psychic and former best pal of Wacko Jacko, has used his magic powers on a number of English clubs, most famously Exeter City, where he became joint chairman in 2002…a year before they dropped out of the Football League. Geller, a former Israeli paratrooper who forged an inernational career in spoon-bending, placed magic crystals behind one of Exeter’s goals before a crucial play-off game in 1997….which they lost 5-1. More recently, Oxford United were reported in classic tabloid fashion to have used an exorcist at their new Kassam Stadium. In fact it was nothing more sinister than a blessing from the local Bishop. And there’s more. When Southampton moved to St Mary’s, some pre-Christian tombs were excavated, leading to rumors the Portsmouth-supporting spirits would have their revenge. I recall seeing some Roman artefacts displayed there, an unusual sight in any football stadium, so who knows? The club took their miserable start at their new home seriously enough to employ a white witch to rid the ground of malevolence, though it didn't stop Joey popping by later. Overseas, the football fruitcakes are in full cry: Fenerbahce players in Turkey have sheep’s blood smeared on their cleats when they debut while fans of Romania's Arges Pitesti once staged a cat's funeral and roasted a chicken on the field for good fortune. Dracula’s homeland seems replete with superstition: Romanian teams wearing underwear inside-out, placing herbs in their shoes and not reversing the team bus for good luck, I could go on…Do you remember Anghel Iordanescu, their national team's coach at USA '94, brandishing his crucifix and kissing his book of Romanian saints during the game? So, if Tottenham are suffering from some ingrained evil, it could be because their training ground was once occupied by …yep, it’s as if English soccer teams only have themselves to blame for buying land on the cheap from those funny-looking folk in their trailers, who utter curses as they are shunted away. I’m not a fan of the invisible. In football it is just too convenient to blame a five-goal thrashing on some odd-looking tea-leaves or birds in the sky instead of what happens with the ball on the grass. While England is a very secular country its soccer is still full of superstition, inevitably perhaps given the millions of people expending such emotion on it each week. Former National Team coach Glenn Hoddle employed a faith healer to widespread derision during the 1998 World Cup before resigning after some ill-judged comments on reincarnation while forerunner Bobby Robson memorably once said of a forthcoming England game, “It argues well” (sic). Is it just me, or is not it obvious these highly-paid professional clubs paying assorted soothsayers and con-artists were wasting their time. Again and again, football clubs seem to prove GK Chesterton’s quip that people who deny God won’t believe in nothing – they will believe in anything. Spurs have more prosaic reasons than superstitious hearsay why they are doing so badly: It is something to do with an over-enthusiastic and ill-thought out transfer policy, a coach and Director of Football not quite in tandem and the fact they sold their best two strikers. It’s not rocket science, but it’s not tarot cards or gypsy curses either. (c) Sean O'Conor & Soccerphile

Normal 0 false false false MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 st1\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) } /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} Who would have thought that Hull City would be looking to win their third game in a row against West Ham, let alone that coming off the back of away victories at Arsenal and Tottenham. No doubt about the Tigers being the surprise package of the season but can they continue their impressive run this weekend?

1- Chelsea Having lost the Champions League Final on penalties and been pipped to the Premiership title by just two points, Chelsea were the ultimate bridesmaid last season.After a summer to lick their wounds, the Blues will come back stronger in 08/09. With Luiz Felipe Scolari now at the helm and having captured Deco and Jose Bosingwa this summer, Chelsea have what it takes to beat United to the league title this time around. The Stamford Bridge club have achieved a massive victory in maintaining Frank Lampard and Didier Drogba, even if its only for another year. Time in which to win a league title. 2 -Manchester United United are likely to be without Ronaldo for August and September, meaning their star winger will miss trips to Liverpool (13 Sept) and Chelsea (21 Sept). Two games that could well be make or break to United’s season. Even when he’s not playing, the Portuguese star is bound to be the key topic of conversation. Can he possibly deliver as greatly as he did last campaign? Will he still have the desire to achieve with United, having seen his dream move to Madrid deteriorate? Following last season’s Champions League and Premiership double success, Fergie’s men start the new campaign firm favourites to win the league again. But Chelsea have what it takes to win the crucial head-to-head clashes between the two heavyweights this time around, meaning United will have to settle for a close second place finish. 3 - Liverpool The pressure will be on for Rafa Benitez to see his Liverpool side close the gap on the top two this season having finished eleven points behind United and nine points off Chelsea in 07/08. The signing of Robbie Keane will prove crucial in running both clubs closer in the title chase and possibly breaking the top two stranglehold before long. United and Chelsea still boast stronger line-ups and strength in depth and for that reason , Liverpool will have to make to with third spot this season with the promise of better to come. Success in the Champions League or domestic cups is a strong possibility. 4 - Arsenal Having lost Thierry Henry last summer, many foresaw the wheels coming off the Arsenal wagon. With Arsene Wenger at the helm though, those people should have thought twice. On song, Arsenal still play the most attractive, free-flowing football in the division. But that’s not to say the Gunners always personify the beautiful game. Cesc Fabregas had a massive downturn in form at the back end of last campaign and William Gallas’ displays of petulance brought widespread condemnation. Samir Nasri should prove a more than adequate replacement for the overrated Aleksandr Hleb, while Aaron Ramsey is a great buy for the future. Had Arsenal the funds to compete in the transfer market with Chelsea and United, then one wonders what team Arsene Wenger would be capable of putting together. That’s for the Emirates dreamers to speculate, as they finish off the title charge again this season. 5 – Tottenham Having been strongly tipped to break into the top four last season, Tottenham flattered to deceive with a mid-table finish. But with Juande Ramos in charge for his first full season at White Hart Lane, such disappointment won’t be repeated. Boasting players such as Heurelho Gomes, Jonathan Woodgate, Ledley King, David Bentley, Luka Modric and Giovani dos Santos, Spurs have the strongest squad outside the top four. While Robbie Keane (and possibly Dimitar Berbatov’s) departure from N17 was a big blow for Spurs, they have personal elsewhere on the pitch to compensate for this. 6 - Portsmouth In Defoe and Crouch, Portsmouth have the best strike force outside of the top four. Having won the FA Cup last season, the pair can fire Pompey to becoming a member of the top six in English football. Due to lack of strength in depth at Fratton Park, Harry Redknapp may find it difficult to juggle his players to fulfil the commitments of playing European football and competing in the league. Priority is therefore likely to be given to their domestic campaign. Home form must be improved upon last season to make a top six finish a reality. 7 - Aston Villa Having been plagued with the Gareth Barry, will he, won the go to Liverpool saga all summer, Aston Villa will just be looking forward to getting on with playing. The amount of English players in Martin O’Neill’s side is highly pleasing to see and Luke Young, Steven Sidwell and Nicky Shorey should complement their squad well. Ashley Young was one of the league’s best players last season and Gabriel Agbonlahor has the ability to net more goals than he did last campaign. Like Portsmouth, Villa are very much a club going in the right direction. 8 - Blackburn Rovers The loss of David Bentley to Tottenham will prove highly significant, given the supply he provided the likes of Roque Santa Cruz and Benni McCarthy last season. Paul Ince has everything to prove as a manager and his signings of Robbie Fowler and Carlos Villanueva don’t look particularly wise moves on paper. That said, Paul Robinson could prove a highly shrewd investment if he can recover his form and confidence. With goals harder to come by at Ewood Park this season, Blackburn will yet again miss out on UEFA Cup qualification. 9 - Everton With the departure of Andy Johnson and the lack of transfer activity in the summer, the Toffees are set to lose their grip on the Premiership’s top six this campaign. While there is quality across the pitch in the likes of Yobo, Lescott, Arteta, Neville and Cahill, the lack of a recognised front pairing will be their undoing this campaign. Yakubu will need to improve his hall of 13 league goals from last season, while David Moyes will need to identify a new striking partner. 10 – Fulham The west Londoners have been busy in this summer’s transfer window and have the players capable of becoming this season’s surprise success story. Andy Johnson and Bobby Zamora should form a prolific partnership upfront, boosted by the supply of Zoltan Gera, Simon Davies, Danny Murphy and Jimmy Bullard. Defensively they don’t look so impressive but it was attacking endeavour that brought Fulham so much success in the second part of the last campaign. Craven Cottage will be an enjoyable place watch high scoring, end-to-end football this season. 11 – Manchester City Poor old Sven Goran Eriksson was sacked after leading City to ninth in the Premiership - an improvement of five places on the previous season. What more can a manage do to please his chairman? Mark Hughes is an excellent manager, but with the controversial former Thai Prime Minister and club owner Thaksin Shinawatra increasingly medalling in team affairs, his position could become compromised. Recent media speculation has suggested Hughes already feels unsettled by communication difficulties between him and his board. Jo is capable of scoring 20 Premiership goals in his first season and in Micah Richards, City have one of the best defenders in England. But with lack of harmony behind the scenes, that will translate on to the pitch. 12 – Sunderland The Mackem’s spent £40m last season to ensure Premiership survival. Having finished three points and three places above the dreaded drop zone, it proved to be money well spent. Roy Keane has had another busy summer wheeling and dealing to help his side continue their progress this season. Steed Malbranque and Teemu Tainio will greatly improve Sunderland’s midfield, while El-Hadji Diouf increases their goal scoring potential. Pascal Chimbonda also brings a wealth of experience, if a not slightly questionable attitude, to the Stadium of Light. Sunderland are a way from becoming a top ten side, but a significant improvement on last season’s league position awaits this campaign. 13 - Newcastle United Like any great soap opera, Newcastle United are never more than a couple of weeks away from chaotic storyline. The Magpies uncanny ability to shoot themselves in the foot was evident throughout last season with only relegated sides Reading and Derby conceding more goals than them. Fabricio Coloccini has been brought in to try and shore things up at the back. Whether he can make a significant difference to the goals against tally remains to be seen. But at least he’s better than the hapless Claudio Cacapa. Damien Duff, Nicky Butt and Alan Smith are just some of the big name underachievers in Newcastle’s squad. The biggest questions are, can Kevin Keegan get the out of his players? And will the boss stick around if the going gets tough? 14 - West Ham United Expectation always exceeds reality at Upton Park and this season will prove to be no different. Having finished tenth with injury ravished squad last campaign, West Ham fans probably expect a challenge for a UEFA Cup spot with a fully fit side. But even with a full strength squad to select from, there are so many better equipped teams than West Ham. While the likes of Tottenham, Manchester City, Portsmouth and Fulham have seriously invested in their squads this summer, the Hammers have spent modestly. Behrami looked decidedly average at Euro 2008, Jan Lastuvka failed to impress on loan with Fulham, while Balint Bajner and Orn Eyjolfsson have never played in a top league. A tough campaign awaits for Alan Curbishley, who is already the bookies favourite to be the first managerial casualty of the season. 15 - Wigan Athletic Small crowds and average players make Wigan one of the most unfashionable clubs in the Premiership. But going into their forth season in the top flight, nobody at the JJB Stadium is particularly concerned about their image. Steve Bruce has made some good signings during the summer, with Oliver Kapo capable of bring flair to a midfielder of tough tacklers. £3.5m youngster Lee Cattermole also represents value for money. Marlon King and Emile Heskey give Wigan a cutting edge upfront that the new boys along with Bolton and Middlesbrough lack. For that reason alone they should be safe come April. 16 - Bolton Wanderers Top ten finishes and forays into Europe seem a distant memory for Bolton post Sam Allardyce. Nowadays it’s all about survival. Cult heroes El-Hadji Diouf and Ivan Campo left the Reebok during the summer and their replacements look suspiciously second rate. £10m striker Johan Elmander failed to score, or make any sort of impact for Sweden in Euro 2008, while Mustapha Riga was part of a Levante team relegated from La Liga last season. Matthew Taylor, Kevin Nolan and Kevin Davies have enough ability to ensure Bolton survival. But the rot has well and truly set in at the Reebok for a Wanderers team a shadow of it’s former self. 17 – Middlesbrough The Teesiders have enjoyed mid-table security under the management of Gareth Southgate, with twelfth and thirteenth finishes respectively in the last two years. But having failed to significantly improve on last season’s squad, Middlesbrough could be surprise relegation candidates this time around. From back to front, Boro lack inspiration and quality. Keepers Ross Turnbull and Brad Jones lack the presence to install confidence in their back four, the midfield bar Stuart Downing is bland and unimaginative. Jeremie Aliadiere has managed just 5 goals in 29 games for Middlesbrough while strike partner Mido spent the most of last season injured, overweight or out of form. Goals and entertainment are set to be at a premium at the Riverside as Boro battle for their Premiership lives in 08/09. 18 – West Bromwich Albion Despite the difficulties experienced by newly promoted teams in the Premiership, it’s not since 1998 that all three new teams have been relegated together after one season. Unfortunately the class of 08/09 are just about to find out how big the gap between the top and second tier of English football is. West Brom’s have a decent spine of goalkeeper Scott Carson, defender Paul Robinson, midfielder Jonathan Greening and forward Ishmael Miller. But while they looked impressive in the Championship, the Premiership is a completely different kettle of fish. As the Albion fans that chant ‘Boing Boing Baggies’ know, what goes up, must come down. Sadly their yo-yo act of recent years will continue this season. 19 - Stoke City Last season’s new boys Sunderland spent £40m on new players to finish just three points and three places above the drop zone, proving just how big the gap between the Championship and Premiership is. Having invested just £8.5m in their squad this summer, Stoke’s chances of survival are minimal. Forward Dave Kitson is a shrewd purchase from Reading and in ex-Manchester United winger Liam Lawrence, Stoke have a decent midfield supplier. But other than that, the squad has Championship side written all over it. The passion of the Potteries crowd coupled with Tony Pulis’ long ball tactics could pose problems for early visitors to the Britannia Stadium. Alas, Stoke will have peaked by the end of September and be long gone by May 2009. 20 - Hull City Derby County were relegated from the Premiership last season with a record low points total of 11. Bookmakers are now offering short odds on Hull taking the Rams’ unwanted record in 08/09. Hull’s squad consists of Premiership veterans and misfits sprinkled with a few talented youngsters. Doubtful that this mix will cut it in a league full of multi-million international superstars. Phil Brown failure to sign Manchester United’s striker Fraizer Campbell, who was on loan at the KC Stadium last season, doesn’t bode well for the new campaign. Neither does a 4-0 pre-season defeat at Crewe. Relegation is a certainty. Bet with Bet 365 World Soccer News Soccer betting tips Soccer Books & DVDs Tags Soccer News soccer football J-League K-League Betting

Saying goodbye to the football season is very much like giving birth to a ginger child: after nine months of optimism, hope and anguish, you’re left with a genuine feeling of disappointment. The final day is often emotional. Who could forget Arsenal pipping Liverpool to the title in 1989? Well sadly, my old man. In fact, if you see a small befuddled pensioner roaming the streets, you’ll be better off avoiding football trivia altogether; senility is no picnic. I’m absolutely devastated that I have to work on Sunday as the drama unfolds. The gaffer has offered me double time and a day in lieu though, which I’m reasonably happy with; but it hasn’t gone down too well with Louise. Lou hasn’t been this upset since Liverpool were beaten by Chelsea in the Champions League semi-final. Liverpool supporters are like Paul McCartney on his wedding night; they’re struggling to get over a disappointing second leg. Steven ‘more dives than Glasgow’ Gerrard will hope to inspire his team-mates to a win over Spurs, but I fancy the Tottenham boys at 9/5. They can be heroes, just for Juande. Manchester United are on the verge of winning the title and I’m particularly pleased for Paul Scholes. There was a worry that Paul’s career was over as a result of blurred vision, practically confirming what my mother told me. I’ll have my head in my hands if Manchester United fail to beat Wigan at 1/4. As is often the case in such a high profile match, there has been plenty of early activity in the first goal scorer market. Bookmakers have already seen a monkey on Ronaldo, a pony on Carlos Tevez and an old dog on Wayne Rooney. A recently discovered tribe of Congolese pygmies have admitted knowing absolutely nothing of western civilisation, other than the fact that Steven Gerrard is better at football than Frank Lampard. Frank simply isn’t that great a player, most of his goals come from his close relationship with the O’Shea family, notably Rick. Frank would need 29 attempts to score on an 18-30 stone holiday. Frank will not be happy about Chelsea finishing second best to Manchester United. I remember how upset he was when I first suggested that he had a weight problem - he sent me a text that read, ‘gbvsdfabdsb’. Ashley Cole will also be unhappy with a runners-up spot. The overrated full-back is desperate for success to cement his role as a celebrity. He’s already been offered a spot on next week’s Jonathan Ross show, he just needs to find three pals and a piano. Chelsea are certainties to beat Bolton, i’m all over the 1/6 like John Terry on a referee. I’m no stranger to disappointment; I once watched all of Soccer AM. Alex McLeish can empathise, he would give his right arm for Birmingham to avoid relegation, but a trade of that magnitude has only ever come off for Heather Mills. I’m backing Blackburn to beat the Blues at 3/1, but be warned, the price is dropping quicker than Steven Gerrard in a penalty area. Reading are a lot like Princess Diana, they used to look good, but they’ve hit a wall. The wife is praying that the Royals stay up, as she’s supported them ever since her English teacher wrote ‘reading difficulties’ on her school report. I also hope that Reading beat Derby, as I’m not a great fan of Robbie Savage - I can’t forget how he kicked me off the waltzers when I was young. I can’t let my heart rule my head though, I’m going to be like Robbie and mark the coupon with an ‘X’ at 7/2. Portsmouth are currently wobbling like a jelly on a drunken Sumo wrestler - they haven’t won in their last handful of games. Actually, they haven’t won in their last four games, so it’s more of a Jeremy Beadle handful. I’d like to see Pompey beat Fulham as I have an enormous amount of sympathy for Harry Redknapp; he’s been the subject of more enquiries than the 118-118 guys. Hollywood should make a film of Harry’s life, they could call it ‘The buying, the twitch and the fraud probe.’ A case can be made for backing Portsmouth at 5/2 to beat Fulham, but it has more holes than Pete Doherty. I’m going to be like David Cameron in college; and get stuck into the draw at 11/4. Hopefully, my son will become a professional footballer. The last time we had a kick around in the back garden, he nutmegged me twice; nobody’s regretted opening their legs on two separate occasions since Mrs Neville. Phil Neville is like the sun, you should never look directly at him. The lesser of two evils is surprisingly quite bright, he can quote the old Chinese proverb: ‘Give a man a fish, and he’ll eat for a day; give him twelve cans of lager, and he’ll think that Newcastle are worth a bet at Goodison Park. You don’t have to be Stephen Hawking to realise that Everton are nailed on at 10/11, even Mrs Hawking could work that one out; if she wasn’t down the gym working the bags. I once said that Benjani couldn’t hit a cow’s arse with a banjo. If we were ever to meet, he’d probably want to hit me; i’d better change my name to Annette. On a related note, I once tried to hit a cow’s arse with a banjo - at least that’s what I told the police officer, although the lack of a banjo aroused some suspicion. Middlesbrough are a riddle, wrapped up in an enigma, shrouded in mystery, situated in a hole. The 11/10 for a Boro win over Manchester City is the most enticing proposition since Ulrika Johnson offered Sven Goran Eriksson a little slice of Swedish fish pie. Is it wrong for me to continually speak of my admiration for Cesc Fabregas? Apparently, it is during lovemaking. Cesc is a little magician. He’ll have a great future in the game as long as he avoids Debbie McGee. Arsenal are a great bet at 10/11 to beat Sunderland, it’s as clear as the chin on Frank Lampard’s chin. As an Aston Villa supporter, i’m a huge fan of Randy Lerner. I’m not ashamed to say that all it took to make me happy was just one little Yank. I did read that a healthy male averages 20 minutes when expressing his love physically; I’m assuming that includes the taxi journey and the queue for the cashpoint. I’ll be throwing my cash on a West Ham win over the Villa; the 12/5 is positively pulchritudinous. The Premier League remains my true love, but I’ve occasionally strayed into the arms of the football league, the SPL, the conference and the Paralympics. I’m a little bit uncomfortable about watching football at such a poor level though, but Rangers have made it into the UEFA Cup final. I’m often asked why I appear reluctant to share my expertise on the Scottish football scene. I can assure you it’s not a result of xenophobia; some of my best friends know Scottish people. I know that a Celtic win over Hibernian at 1/4 will practically wrap up the title for the Bhoys. My computer is a lot like the wife, if the information is punched in correctly, positive results are guaranteed. My spreadsheet plays a sound if the odds offered on an accer are greater than the actual probability of success: when I placed 16/1 next to Middlesbrough, Tottenham and West Ham, it whipped out a guitar. Copyright (c) Gerry McDonnell & soccerphile.com

Tubby Brazilian Ronaldo may be one of the greatest players to ever grace a football pitch, but he’s definitely a poor role model. The AC Milan man let himself down when he invited three members of the late-night entertainment industry back to a motel. It wasn’t just the fact that they turned out to be ladyboys; he shamefully offered to pay them for doing nothing. If I pay a builder to construct a conservatory, and he brings along a few superfluous tools, I’d expect him to keep his head down and finish the job. This sorry tale was not the only case of mistaken identity this week; Rio Ferdinand kicked a female Chelsea steward after mistaking her for a wall. It sounds like a tall story, but I once kicked the wife by accident; I thought she was her mother. This is Rio’s first high profile gaffe since that moment of madness a few years ago, when he dated Emma Bunton. I will definitely be dipping in to the 7/1 for a draw between Manchester United and West Ham. Rio wasn’t the only player involved in controversy at Stamford Bridge last week; Michael Ballack and Didier Drogba almost came to blows over a free kick; they should really have got a room with Ronaldo. I can’t get my head around the 11/2 for a Newcastle win over Chelsea. The funniest moment of the match came after the final whistle, when the Manchester United players had a Benny Hill style fight with the Chelsea groundsmen. The United boys were completely out of order; Rio Ferdinand should know by now to keep off the grass. Middlesbrough are involved in a real fight, they’ll beat Portsmouth at 11/10. Rafa Benitez’s decision to wind up Didier Drogba prior to their Champion’s League semi will rightfully be filed alongside Ronaldo’s shemale escapades in the ‘what a massive rick’ category, but both are trumped by my decision to make a move on a waitress when I holidayed in Thailand. I won’t bore you with all the gruesome details, but let’s just say that she wasn’t the only one who received a large tip. I’m far more comfortable with this tip; back Liverpool to beat the imploding Manchester City at 8/11. Gareth Barry is considering a move to Liverpool as he wants to join a club that can match his ambition. Evidently his ambition is to perform adequately in Europe and never win the league. The Villa can overtake Everton for the UEFA cup spot by seeing off Wigan at 4/7. Last week was disastrous for Birmingham City. As the Blues threw away a 2-0 lead at home, Fulham were performing miracles in Manchester and Bolton were holding on for a point at White Hart Lane. Maybe there is a little truth in the gypsy’s curse; they should never have sold him to Blackburn. Fulham v Birmingham will be a cracker, I’ll explode when Fulham take the points at 5/4. Robbie Savage could definitely forge a career in the female impersonation industry once his best footballing days are behind him; somewhere in 1998. Blackburn are a far better team since they dropped the blonde deadwood; they’ll beat Derby by two or more goals at 5/6. If Reading v Tottenham produces as much action as the reverse fixture, it’ll be quite an entertaining game. Tottenham romped to a 6-4 victory at the Lane; narrowly foiling my bet on ‘no goalscorer’. Reading have deteriorated since then; they haven’t scored a goal since March and only Derby have a worse goal difference. If Tottenham don’t take all three points at 12/5, I’ll be more hurt than when I woke up in Thailand with a worse limp than Heather Mills. All the warning signs were there with that Thai waitress, she actually warned me that she’d be bringing some nuts up to the room. I thought she meant that I’d enjoy a late night snack - unfortunately, I was correct. I’m definitely right in taking a large slice of the 8/11 for an Arsenal win over Everton. I’m reminded of my Thai nightmare whenever I see Roy Keane’s infamous challenge on Alf-Inge Haaland; that was some tackle. Roy’s boys have been priced up at 11/2 against Bolton, that’s very, very big. It was quite ironic that I ended up in a compromising position with a male who looked like a female, as my wife could easily pass for a builder. Aston Villa, Blackburn, Tottenham and Arsenal form a 10/1 accer of which there can be absolutely no ambiguity. Copyright (c) Gerry McDonnell & soccerphile.com

Two top coaches in the English capital crashed this week and are recovering from their injuries. The first victim was a French national, Monsieur Arsene Wenger, whose vehicle 'Arsenal' (named after him), took the wrong turning from off a successful road to a league and European double, smashing into Liverpool in the Champions League, before being hit again by Manchester United in the Premier League. Arsenal have for my money played the sexiest football around this season, but once more were outwitted by cannier clubs when it counted, teams who exploited the Gunners' perennial inexperience and lack of grit when under pressure. A wonder goal such as that conjured up at Anfield by the irrepressible Theo Walcott and lethal Emmanuel Adebayor deserved to win any game, but only seconds later, Arsenal were outmuscled and shocked by an English-style counter and Liverpool scored via a questionable penalty. United exploited their home advantage and experience to dismiss the Gunners from the title race the following Sunday, sending Wenger into new depths of madness, as he bleated about referees having a conspiracy against his club. The gleaming new Emirates Stadium is thanks largely to that man, who has transformed London's top club into regular European contenders for the first spell in their long history. But Wenger, for all his tactical and inspirational genius, shames himself by his frequently one-sided post-match rants. It ill-behoves a coach of his talent to claim refs are out to get his team, when replays prove the Gunners benefit from at least as many 50-50 calls as anyone else. Equally, can there be anything more ridiculous than the comical 'I didn't see it' defence he trots out whenever the press needles him on such calls in Arsenal's favour? The second victim is Chelsea's Avram Grant, who under withering pressure from success-bloated 'fans', reported player dissatisfaction and above all the tabloids, 'lost it' with the press on Thursday evening. Grant answered in almost monosyllables alone to the press after his team won 1-0 at Goodison Park against Everton. It was terrific entertainment and I say Bravo, Avram! Managers should repay the contempt the press lob at them. Memories are extremely short at Stamford Bridge. Jose Mourinho was too combustible a personality for people to work with for much longer, and was fired because the results were poor at the start of the season. Grant has done a fine job in taking over from such a legend and keeping Chelsea in contention for both the league title and Champions League. Anti-semitism has reared its ugly head this season amid the Chelsea-haters, but the Israeli coach may yet have the last laugh. Another coach trying to keep the wheels on the road is Rafael Benitez at Liverpool. It seems crazy that the two American owners, who have fallen out incidentally, were gunning to replace the Spaniard with the untested Jurgen Klinsmann. Benitez works miracles in the Champions League and like, Wenger, revitalised a big club which seemed to be running out of steam. All three of the above managers, whose clubs are in the top four in the league and all reached the Champions League quarter-finals, have had their names mentioned in the UK press this week as possible summer axings. That any of Benitez, Grant and Wenger should be facing dismissal is ridiculous, but also a telling comment on the insatiable and utterly unrealistic demands of the new breed of soccer investor-operators, who have no feel or real understanding for the game. Only Sir Alex, high in his Old Trafford castle after 22 years of fortification, seems safe. (c) Sean O'Conor & Soccerphile Bet with Bet 365 World Soccer News Soccer betting tips Soccer Books & DVDs Tags Soccer News soccer football J-League K-League Betting

It has been a rare treat for the used and abused football fan to see the Premier League so humiliated as they have been this past week. The seemingly invincible money-machine that was born in 1993 has for the first time hit a real brick wall in its quest to rob football of all its traditions in the pursuit of profit. I have relished watching those whom the PL thought were their friends - the FA, Manchester United etc, turn tail and slam their colonial project. For challenging their authority, the upstart division's pretensions of grandeur have met a cannonade of criticism from the real powers in the game, who have torpedoed the ludicrous 'Game 39' proposal. Hopefully now it will sink to the bottom and die next Thursday when PL Chief Executive Richard Scudamore and FA Chairman Lord Triesman come up against FIFA boss Sepp Blatter in Zurich. Should the PL persist with their daft and ill-conceived plan, FIFA will again lock swords with the PL at their Executive Meeting on the 14th of March and then at their general Congress on the 29th of May. By then, England's World Cup bid will be in the shadow, the last thing the FA wants. Blatter has been implacably opposed to the idea, digging the knife in by saying it would harm England's 2018 World Cup bid. For all the Swiss' cronyism, corporate selling-out and Machiavellian machinations since 1998, he is my hero now for telling the Premier League where to go. Driving a wedge between them and the FA and engaging the fans by threatening to lose England the World Cup was the perfect tactic. Attacking your opponent's weaknesses with your strengths is straight from The Art of War. Blatter seems to have finally twigged that the marriage between football and commerce, which FIFA ran along with for the past decade, will end in tears as the game will sell its soul for good. After presiding over an amazing corporate takeover of the World Cup, his recent pronouncements have been more vociferous than ever in defence of the international game and protecting the national identity of domestic leagues from the money-men. At the same time as welcoming Brazil as hosts for the 2014 World Cup, he rebuked the five-times winners for exporting so many footballers around the world and told them to stay at home. The question is whether these are genuine threats or mere desperate rantings of a man who has lost control of his children. Should 'Game 39' disappear quietly into the shadows, the Premier League only has itself to blame for not canvassing more support behind the scenes before it presented its plan to the world. The idea also had a fatal flaw - adding an extra game instead of playing an early-season and thus relatively meaningless regular season fixture overseas, as the NFL did recently in London. They should content themselves with overseas friendlies and defer graciously now England's World Cup bid is in danger. Of course, as well all now know beyond question, the interests of the English national team and the whole of the nation's fans are quite opposed to those of the Premier League. Next Thursday, I want Blatter to blow the Premiership out of the water. (c) Sean O'Conor & Soccerphile Bet with Bet 365 World Soccer News Soccer betting tips Soccer Books & DVDs Tags Soccer News soccer football J-League K-League Betting